


Behind the Scenes

by AkaUsa



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, F/F, Meta, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-08-23 16:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16622810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaUsa/pseuds/AkaUsa
Summary: Outside of the stage, the shadow girls keep acting in pretty much the same ways. Yes, even when it comes to doingthat.





	Behind the Scenes

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the prompt "A/B/C fucking in the style of their shows" on the femslash kinkmeme of the dreamwidth community meme_of_bilitis.

"I wonder, I wonder... Do you know what I wonder?"

"Who could have known! College courses have been introduced this year to Ohtori academy. So here we are again."

"Exactly, as time passes, we try more and more to cling to our precious and fleeting adolescence. Seems like some people have trouble letting go and try with all their might to delay the inevitable! Oh well, it must be hard for the princess at the top of her tower to see the years go by and realize adulthood has been knocking at her door for so long!"

"Uh. Was it a princess stuck at the top of the tower or a boy who didn't want to grow-up? I can't remember. Anyway, it's not too bad after all, staying in school for a few more years, I'd rather keep on feeling young! To think I haven't even once played find-the-kitty yet, I don't want the other girls to laugh at me if they learn about it once I'm out of here."

"What?! You really haven't ever played find-the-kitty?!"

"Don't say it like that! Now I'm really going to be ashamed. What if anybody heard?"

"Oh, don't worry, we can take care of that unfortunate gap in your education immediately. And nobody will hear us if we go looking for kitty-cats backstage."

"Backstage? With the spotlight on? Isn't that a bit risqué?"

"Trust me. Looking at shadows, it can be pretty hard to distinguish a game of ping-pong from catch-the-snake. Now, come little kitten. I hope you're not afraid of the dark?"

"Surely not, no. Not if you'll hold my hand!"

"Alright then. Left, right, left, left. I think we're good. No wait, a bit more to the right. It's all sticky there, careful where you step. Upside-down now."

"Oooh, that's way too much, I don't know if it'll work... The cat will run away if we frighten it! Slowly please, slowly. Wait a minute... Are you playing the trumpet under my skirt or is someone coming?"

"Extra! Extra! Two students doing it behind the curtains! Boing, boing! Shlick, shlick! A tale of depravity under the nose of the morality patrol! What is it, what is it this time? Let's investigate. Incest? Age Difference? Abusive lesbian relationship? My, in this school it could well be all three at the same time!"

"Ack! You! You're the girl she left me for at the audition last year! I can't believe it! How dare you accuse me of depravity when you had her call you Daddy?!"

"I object, that was only for the play! Purely platonical. I beg you, put that elephant toy down now, it's dangerous. Who knows what the morality patrol would do if they really came down there and saw you like that."

"But then she really made you play find-the-kitty with her just after that, didn't she? Your very, very first time playing find-the-kitty?"

"Actually it was more of a game of mom and... oops."

"Waah, I'm so jealous!"

"Don't cry. You too can also call me daddy, if you want!"

"No way, no way! When you play doctor and patient, you don't have two doctors! When you play cat and mouse, there's no place for a dog even if it nicely keeps its cute collar on! When you play mom and dad, uncle doesn't come to handle the candle! And a girl may like peaches and bananas but she doesn't necessarily want to have both at the same time!"

"Let's note that bananas are forbidden in the limits of the theatre room, as this useful signboard indicates."

"Really? But I think I saw a banana peel somewhere over there!"

"Those are an exception made for feudal knights trying to catch beautiful falling maidens in their red dresses. However it seems to mostly work on spoiled little princesses."

"Ding ding! Question: What about eating two peaches at the same time?"

"I see your point but still, that sound awfully messy."

"Anything can be messy when you first try it but that doesn't always make it a bad thing. With experience, you could even eat three!"

"I'm doubtful but I'll consent."

"Wouldn't a nod have been enough? Show and don't tell, that's a rule of theater. The spectators are perfectly able to understand that, aren't they?"

"Heh? What spectators?!"

"Tchoo! Tchoo! Green light! The train is now departing! Finally! Finally! I'm finally going to eat two peaches at the same time! Ah but this is going to demand a bit of coordination... If I use this hand to... then this other hand is supposed to... Wait, bip-bip, if I use my mechanical arm then..."

"I already said no to the Robot-Monkey last time we did it! Such a turn-off."

"Fine, fine. I'll turn it off... Sigh. Why can't anyone appreciate a little bit of role-play?"

"Let's not loose any more time. Place your left foot on the blue circle. Now right hand on the yellow one. Right foot, green. Left hand, blue. You can do it! Just make sure you don't fall when I poke you from behind."

"Dance, dance, make the little shadows dance. Yes, dance for me little shadows."

"Hey, that's my elbow you're licking!"

"Say, if it tastes like salmon but mewls like a cat, which is it?"

"Go fish?"

"Hn."

"What then? Cat got your tongue?"

"Mew, mew!"

"Pussy, pussy, pussy. Come here little pussycat."

"Ouch! It bit me!"

"Aw, poor thing, come here so I'll give you a get-better kiss."

"Meew."

"Ha ha ha! Here it is! I caught the kitty! Wonderful! Fantastic! So that's how it feels! Like sun and rainbows and cotton-balls. My brain is all mushy, I don't think my legs will hold up! The spotlights are dancing too. Amazing, I want to tell everyone! Ooh, they'll be so envious. But what if they find it weird or ridiculous? No, wait, I don't want anyone to know! That'll be my little secret. Wuh hu hu hu."

"So, do you feel a bit more adult now?"

"Well, not really, but I didn't know theater props could be used in so many ways!"

"I wonder, I wonder... Do you know what I wonder?"

"Who's up for seconds?"

 


End file.
